Thanksgiving has come and gone, but I am still determined to remain grateful in my present. One of my personal goals is being truly present, and this requires the ability to focus on the present without feeling controlled or completely influenced by the past or future.
I've started to read Pema Chodron's When Things Fall Apart: Heart Advice for Difficult Times and in the first chapter, I have already been struck by truth that has become so personal and relevant to me:
"...we cannot be in the present and run our story lines at the same time! It sounds pretty obvious, I know, but when you discover something like this for yourself, it changes you. Impermanence becomes vivid in the present moment; so do compassion and wonder and courage. And so does fear. In fact, anyone who stands on the edge of the unknown, fully in the present without reference point, experiences groundlessness. That's when our understanding goes deeper, when we find that the present moment is a pretty vulnerable place and that this can be completely unnerving and completely tender at the same time" (p. 2)
Although I could definitely take the time to focus on the vulnerable parts of being present, I am instead going to focus on those tender parts. I want to center myself on the blessings of the present, which includes, but is not limited to, the wonderful people who support me here in Atlanta.
Last week I was fortunate to have a visit from my closest friend from college, Frannie, who lives in New York. It was very meaningful for me to have some of my friends from Atlanta meet her and to watch my worlds collide. I am grateful for her visit because I was confronted with the truth that I very much have built a wonderful life down here, which includes a great support system.
So I want to take the time to make note of the specific reasons that I am thankful for the people who live with me here in Atlanta (in no particular order). I often take the time to be grateful for these people in my meditation and prayer time, but I wanted to write it down so that I can always come back to this and read it, and I want these people to know how grateful I am for them!
Tiffany: I am grateful for the way that you support me through meaningful conversation and words of affirmation. You give me the space to be honest and vulnerable and you always encourage me in the process.
Kayleigh: I am grateful for your acts of service and the ways that you support me behind the scenes. I see your support through the gifts that you give me and the sacrifices that you make for me.
Kelsey F.: I am grateful for the way that you are intentional about making me feel loved and included. You always encourage with your words, your sweet back rubs, and your agreeable self.
Kelsey G: I am grateful for the way that you encourage me to come to kickboxing and to get pedicures with you. You make me more normal and you help me just live!
Zach: I am grateful for our peculiar and deep conversations. I am grateful for the insignificant (yet hilarious) little moments of life that we can share with one another. I am grateful for your transparency, logic, and your perspective.
Collin: I am grateful for your humor and your wit. I am grateful for the way that you invite me to hang out with you and your amazing parents, which always ends up being a memorable time.
Kelcie: I am grateful for how honest and transparent you are around me. You acknowledge the awkward moments of life and you aren't afraid to be unapologetically you.
Brittney: I am grateful for your crazy stories that distract me from my own thoughts and life. I am grateful for your hospitality and the way that you welcome me into your home and family.
Andrew: I am grateful for your optimistic view of life and of people. I am grateful for your energy, your jokes, and your laugh. Thanks for always being so welcoming and nonjudgmental, even when I say terrible things (you know what I'm talking about, haha).
Lauren K: I am grateful for your courage and the way that you challenge me. I am grateful for your family and the way that you have welcomed me into your family. I am grateful that you are always seeking truth and ways to better yourself.
Stephen: I am grateful for your honesty and your love for all
things Beyonce. I am grateful for your laugh and your dance moves and
your incredible taste in music.
Nicki: I am grateful for your humor and your energy. I am grateful for your loyalty and the way that you always will stick up for me. I am grateful for your perspective and the way that you always support me with your words and actions.
Allison: I am grateful for your hilarious stories about your students. I am grateful for your efficiency and your intelligence. I am grateful for the way that you make me feel comfortable at work.
Lynn: I am grateful for the countless ways that you have saved me in times of crisis. Thank you for always be willing to get down and dirty to help me with my car troubles.
Wendy: I am grateful for your humor, laugh, and sarcasm. I am grateful for the way that you always stay true to yourself, and the way that you never take yourself too seriously.
Lauren L: I am grateful for your positivity and your intent to always see the good in people. You always keep a positive outlook on even the toughest situations, and that is inspiring.
Kayla: I am grateful for your transparency and your crazy stories. I am grateful for your talents and your intelligence that you bring to your job and our team.
It is truly amazing to write all of this down and to remind myself that I am loved and accepted here, a place that I would have thought that I would consider home. In the past, it has been much easier to be grateful for my friends and family who are not physically with me. They have always been a support system no matter where I am. But it's important for me to be presently grateful for the people who are with me here. I have so many reasons to be grateful; in fact, it was difficult to restrain myself and only write a few sentences for each person.
All I can say is: Wow. Thank you. I am home.
